Found this through my mess as I was moving into my new dorm - yay! Created in 2009.
p.s. you must READ in an “alien” (high-pitched monotone) voice as you go through it.
In response to people who have complained that I don’t rhyme
maybe you people are right
Perhaps I find rhyming too hard
Or perhaps I am not too bright
SO I looked up on wikipedia
To find justification of my bad rhyming
And I guess I would able to illustrate my ideas
Through the following explaining:
1. There is perfect rhyme, and general rhyme…i generally use general rhyme
and sometimes perfect rhyme - well only from time to time..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhyme#General_rhymes
“In the general sense, general rhyme can refer to various kinds of phonetic similarity between words, and to the use of such similar-sounding words in organizing verse. Rhymes in this general sense are classified according to the degree and manner of the phonetic similarity”
And there are many many KINDS of general rhyme: Syllabic, imperfect, semirhyme, oblique, assonance, consonace, half rhyme, alliteration.
Such rules allow me to make teething “general rhyme” with seeding!
…There are also other options like perfect rhyme, eye rhyme, and mind rhyme
NEAT HUH!
2. There are also various rhyming schemes - so not every other line have to rhyme:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhyming_scheme
…I am too lazy to figure out all the multifarious ways of rhyme patterns, so I will claim that I use a “combination of schemes” which seems to be inclusive of all types :D
WOOHOO!
3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510
My brother and I just spent half an hour memorizing the 1st 50 numbers of pi. Talking about having nothing to do. Just recited to dad together - tehe!
Me: Fang, you are like pi. SO irrational.
Fang: Fang Pi, hehehe so mature
Look what I dug up from my house! These are two pages from my high school freshman English project based on the novel “House on Mango Street.” Each student had to make a packet that shows his/her family dynamic. My theme was “my life is like apples and bananas.”
As you can probably tell I had NO idea what I was doing, mainly because I procrastinated (that never changed). The English teacher ended up making a bunch of copies of my packet for his subsequent years, and he didn’t tell me this until senior year!
(I fully acknowledge now how stupid my poem is haha…I’ll try to write better ones)
Ride on a parabolic flight: http://www.gozerog.com/
…who knew calculus is so cool?
When I was a child I had big dreams
To be not a queen but a fantastical king
Standing on a castle with a thousand soldiers
Who were really animals fighting on my team
I ruled in the land of Candysalavia
Where my castle stacked of chocolate bricks
Housing more sweets than that of Wonka’s
And I can eat it all without getting sick
At night my castle transforms into a rocketship
I become the co-captain with a monkey named Pip
In gravity-free space I swim and do flips
My hair flying everywhere, gosh I need a clip!
Not before long we land on Planet Ihatetests
The planet was shaped like a school desk
The drawer opens and lets us in
Inside marched millions of miniature men
They were friendly but only one-inch tall
All wore black glasses and white antenna hats
They serve children through telepathic calls
Only those nervous on exams, never brats
Good thing I don’t need to worry about exams
In a distance I hear a women calling my name
“Wake up!” She says, “you need to finish your test!”
Aw man, that was only a dream…
Note: In kindergarden, I really did believe there were hundreds of tiny invisible men living in school desks. I would put one of my ear on the desk to listen to them everyday. Boy was I a confused child.
I wish I live in the city
In an apartment with a kitty
On the 28th floor lights outside so pretty
So relaxed, yet so giddy
My ceiling not so high
But I live so high I can touch the sky
Inside I feel so fly
This is my life yes all mine
I painted my walls all blue
But every week I change the hue
I change the placement of my furniture too
I do it for me and for you
Last Friday I met you at the bar
Then again with your flivvy, interesting car
We rendezvoused at Central Park
Next to a bench underneath the stars
My kitty and your pup
Dragged us to a coffee shop
We decided to Broadway show hop
We did it, until caught by NYPD cops
In the city there are no rules
I can be me and you can be you
Dressed as a Martian living on the moon
Every hour, dancing to a different tune
But from the sky I fall down down
Because really, I live in a small town
Population just four-hundred count
My imagination, however, never stay ground
Heres the background story. I guess I could call today a really good day, which is just anything that is more exciting than an average day in Almaden Valley. A friend took us to Vasona Lake County Park, which is only 6mi from Almaden yet none of us knew about it until recently.
While my 3 friends canoed, I opted for stand-up paddleboarding (SUP) because I really liked it last time I did it at Newport. Its a relaxing sport really, where you stand on a floating device very much like a padded surfboard, only 1.5x larger and thicker, and just cruise on the calm water. (Paddleboard surfing on the other hand is a whole different mountain). Some lady warned me to not “go out on the open water because it can get windy and make you loose balance.” I ignored her - how bad can it be?
So I did paddle to the open water. And I did fall in the lake. Only because I ran into a fishing line and was too late avoiding it, so I won’t give the lady any points. Made a huge commotion and saw people who were walking and biking stopping by just to stare at me, along w/ people already on the benches watching. Finally I grabbed on the board, pulled myself up and jumped onto my legs unsteadily but not falling. Everyone who was watching clapped. At least I put on a good show.
Because I was already wet, I decided not to care whether or not I fall again/get dirty. So I proceeded to paddle to the small island in the middle of the lake “to a place no man has gone before!” And through its long, wild shrubs I saw - EGGS!! Ones that were pearl white and twice as large as a chicken egg so you know it’s either a duck or goose egg. And I was so eggcited that I hopped off my board and ran to it. Bad idea. Bird poop was EVERwhere and it was smelly. However with my friends’ encouragement from a protected distance in their sheltered canoe, I mustered courage and headed to the center of the island. Luckily I spotted 5 eggs in a nest closer the the edge. These eggs were different - uglier and dirty, with one already broken with yoke flowing out and hardened. But I took one anyway. Yes, by this time I have thought I must be a horrible person for taking it, and it’s gross, and I am risking a bird chasing me…but…I did it…and my friend Mona said her mom will cook it for dinner.
@11:09 tonight Mona called me:
“OMG. I have to tell you a story. I just got home (her family left for 5 hrs), and as soon as we got in, we smelled this rotten smell that pervaded our whole house. At first we thought it was the turtles, but I checked and it wasn’t it. Then my sister found the source of smell - the place where I put the egg and now it’s just broken egg shells. I thought the duck had hatched and I was scared so I ran outside! But there was no duck. Basically the egg exploded! Anyways, the house smells REALLY bad.”
Moral of the story: don’t take eggs from the wild. Sorry PETA, I learned my lesson. On the light side, I paddled next to a mama duck and a dozen of her ducklings. It was so nice!
Now, can anyone explain how an egg just explode out of the blue?
okay i decided not to keep this blog purely rhyming… :(
#1.
As my phlebotomist worked her way filling #2 of the 7 test tubes with thick wine-colored goo substance via a thin catheter coming out of my right arm, she suddenly says:
“Do you feel that vibration? the needle is sucking the wall of your vein”
At that moment I noticed blood spatting into the tube rather as a smooth lava flow, and realized what she had meant. I also started to notice the tickle more and more.
Unfortunately I proceeded to giggle uncontrollably through the remaining time as the rest of the 5 tubes slowly fill up.
#2.
My sister stumped into the living room (where my brother and I were sitting): “ANDREW! Where is my picture of Prince William?”
#3.
(okay, this one is not so much awkward as it is shocking…to me)
Me (after completing “Hymn of the Tiger Mother” and completely inspired by it): MOM! I am so mad at Andrew. He hasn’t been productive with his work all day and he’s rewarding himself with a movie! Can you BELIEVE him?!”
Mom (who had given me the job to make sure my bro does his work): Stop making yourself so angry.
Clearly she needs to read the book too.
DR. SEUSS TRIBUTE
Oh what can I say about my pal Dr. Seuss,
His stories are full of funny characters…like those from the zoos
There are moose, cats, dogs, and fishes
To fill children’s head of dreams and wishes
The best part of his stories is that they always rhyme
He even makes up words from time to time
Written by Fei 2008. Copyright 2011